1. Who am I?
2. Where have I come from?
3. Where am I going?
The article points out that most people fall into a trap of defining themselves based on things such as their job, their relationships, identities/labels, etc. But you are more than just "a student", "a teacher", "a daughter", "a husband", "a retail employee", "a chef", "a homeowner", "a gamer", "an athlete", "a college graduate", "an American", "a feminist", "a jock", "a Christian", etc. You are more than a list of labels. You are more than your job. You are more than the level of success society has decided you've achieved. You are more than your relationships to other people and you have your own worth outside of them. Many of these things can change anyway, but whatever you are, the core of your being is something that has always been and always will be. Who are you underneath it all? What are you? What is the nature of your being?
I'm going to quote part of the article here because I think this is an interesting practice:
"Ancient Asian wisdom traditions used a practice of inquiry as a way to discover who we really are. That is, the part of us which is Real and never changing. It’s a practice of self-discovery to help arrive at the spiritual core of one’s being. A guru (Sanskrit for teacher) would encourage students to ask, “Am I my body?” They were expected to answer “neti, neti.” “Not that. Not that.” My body changes perpetually and eventually will be shed like an old dress or a worn pair of jeans. So I cannot be the body. “Am I the mind?” My mind will lose its sharpness and its ability to think clearly. I may even lose my mind, so I am not the mind.
Am I my soul? Even the soul goes through periods of growth and change. In the ancient wisdom traditions, the Spirit or the atma, the unchanging essence that continues even when all else dissolves and changes, is Real. Therefore, they encouraged students to realize, “I am atma.” I am the eternal, unchanging absolute – and to identify with this. This is a powerful way to remain unaffected by the ups and downs of the life’s journey.
A good way to reinforce this is to repeat, “I am atma.” Or, “I am the unchanging, eternal Absolute.” Or “I am Love.” This ancient practice anchors us in the deep wisdom of knowing our true nature and understanding ourselves as profoundly greater and wiser than what we may initially imagine. Give it a try and discover the depths and the power of anchoring in the Spirit as your true identity."
This is really interesting in the way it defines "spirit" as something separate from soul and mind. I think most of us define spirituality as something separate from our body, but we have a more difficult time drawing the line between spirit, soul, and mind.
According to this story, who you really are is not your body, which is something I've always agreed with. Your body is your vessel, but it can change over time. Your health can change, your weight can change, your strength can change, your age will change, and your overall appearance can and will go through several changes. Others might define you as "the fat one" or "the hot one" but those descriptions are not who you really are. Many people go through a crisis as they get older because with the wrinkles, thinning hair, changing body shapes, etc. comes a crisis of identity. They feel they are no longer the same person they were when they were young and fit. If you have health issues or get into an accident, you may no longer be able to do the things you used to do. I've seen this firsthand with people. My grandmother defined who she was by her love of dancing, being a housewife and stay at home mom, and hosting family events. When she got older, it became difficult for her to clean, it became too much work to host family events, and she couldn't dance any longer. My mother defined herself by her activities and appearance. When she was younger she was a stripper, a Burlesque performer, and a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. She loved dancing, taught tae-kwon-do, and was a fairly active person. When she got older, she went through an identity crisis over her looks, leading her to pursue a never ending string of fad diets and to get a face lift. When she was run over by a car and had to have multiple surgeries on her leg, she could no longer dance, do strenuous exercise, or wear heels without intense pain, which further distanced herself from the way she used to be. My father is a drummer and has always considered that to be a part of his identity, who he is at his core, so when his health issues, multiple surgeries, and organ transplants forced him to take a break from all of that, it ate at him. Finally, the question becomes, when our bodies die, does everything else we really are underneath it all die with them? Or does our very essence of who we are continue on in some way? This brings me to the next topic...
Does our mind live on? The things we know, the things we think about, our memories? Another important part of my father's concept of who he is would be his Italian heritage, same as with me. When his parents, brother, aunt, and uncle all passed away, we both tried clinging desperately to our traditions and recipes to try to keep that part of our identity alive, but there weren't many people left who shared that with us. Certain recipes or stories from our family's past were written down, but others are lost. For him it was even harder because there was no one left in our family who spoke Italian as a first language anymore. His cousins are all fluent, but when they talk now it's always in English. He lost another part of who he was, or at least how he defined himself, but as with everything else, it's temporary.
My grandfather had Alzheimer's very badly and toward the end he couldn't remember who was alive and who had died, he couldn't remember that he no longer had his cat and kept looking for him, he sometimes couldn't even remember his own children and grandchildren. I believe that our experiences in life and therefore our memories help shape who we become, our opinions, our ideas, our personality, etc. Therefore, his memory loss was very difficult for me to deal with. If he could no longer remember so much of his life, was he even really the same person? If he couldn't remember or recognize his sons, was being a father still a part of his identity? Perhaps this is why the article says we shouldn't define ourselves by our identities, our relationships, or our mind. All are temporary. However, this is one thing that I absolutely struggle with understanding and I'm still not sure I agree with it. My grandmother had severe paranoia at the end of her life. She even believed my mother and I were trying to kill her. She constantly said she saw or heard people in the house and even called the cops a few times because of it. When she started losing her mind, her relationships shifted in a way. Most of the time she still loved and trusted me, but then there would be times when she genuinely believed I was out to get her. Was she still her? Was she still the same person? Or when my great uncle died, he was practically unconscious and unable to speak for days beforehand. I don't know if he could still understand anything happening around him. Did the real him die when his body died, did the real him die a few days before his body, or did the real him live on after his body passed away? These are all questions I struggle with answering. I'm not sure what I believe.
Finally, we move onto the difference between soul and spirit. I've always used the terms interchangeably. In some eastern philosophies and religions, they are defined differently. The soul goes through growth and change, but the spirit is an unchanging essence that always continues on. I feel like I need to do more research and give more consideration to this concept because I haven't really encountered it before and I'm unsure of what I think about it, but I do find it fascinating. I'm also not entirely sure I agree with the concept that who you really are must be an unchanging part of you underneath it all. Perhaps what we really are is an ever-changing, growing, and evolving soul that is a result of everything we think, learn, and experience in our lives.
This is certainly an interesting concept, I'm just not sure I agree with it, because I've always believed that who we are and our very personality is a result of everything we've experienced in our lives up until that point. Although, I suppose that individualist outlook is fairly common in western thought, which is how I was raised, whereas many eastern religions and philosophies tend to view these things differently. Perhaps I only view it that way because of how I was raised and where I grew up. What do you think about it? Who do you think we really are? Does who or what we really are exist separately from our body and mind? Do you think that our soul and our spirit are the same thing? If so, do you think it's also the same thing as our mind? Let me know your views in the comments!
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